Transfiguration

Yeah, here we are
It goes one for the pain
Two for my dreams
Prayers as empty
As my heart

My soul is my rage
Anger is my gift
Line after line
Till I forget
All I’ve left behind
Every love I’ve misplaced
Broken thoughts
Leave me dazed
All I am believes
Karma is just another lie

This pen is all I have
All I own
I’ll show to you
Words and nothing more
Innocent? Please
Guilty as my sins
Six feet down
When I have
Nothing left to give

Is it all a dream?
Am I hollow as I seem?
One word, hit the beat
Hear my soul scream
Till it’s free
What are we
Meant to be?
Nothing but
Shadows and Dust

We are nothing
But forgotten
Until the world
Is calling my name
Long after I’m
Dead and gone
Generations will
Be singing my song
An immortal soul
In a twilight world
Live for ever
Page after page
Can you say the same?

It’s 6 AM
The Sun is oh so low
Thoughts and dreams
Swimming in my head
Looking for a
Better day
Looking for anyone
But me
Caught in a mirror
Reflection of
The price I pay
To play this game

To the song of strings
I can’t help but sing
This is my salvation
As I spread my wings
And fly straight
Into make believe

My confession girl
I swear it’s true
I’m too tired to lie
About anything
I just want some
Peace of mind

Anywhere, anytime
Take it off my chest
What’s done is done
I gave it my best
I’ll see you when
This story ends

I’ll be looking for you
Through the mists of time
No matter how it is
You were always on my mind
Always on my mind
La Elaha Ela Allah
Is it true?
Who am I to say?

A million thorns
Rip my soul
I’m so lost
I can’t take hold
To save me from myself
Is a song I never learned
If only I knew how
To say the words
To make me whole
Instead I sing
“Eli
Eli lema
Sabachthani”
as I fade

I’ve been thinking
‘bout you girl
The nights are
Much too long
I hum a tune
And try to sing
One more happy song

I look at myself
And I try so hard
To see
The shadow of the man
Who looks back at me
Everything I do
It all feels so wrong
I keep looking
For my Angel
I can hear wing beats
But no halo
To be found

I hold the strings
I feel the vibrations
But broken as I am
I can’t hear a sound
Walking through the day
Feeling nothing at all
Finally got my wish
Today I’m alone

I find my voice
Is cracked
My hands keep shaking
I don’t even know
Where I’m at
Another couch
Another day
This is not how you live
But a recipe for how
To kill a man
Slowly and we know
That is all I am

Sinking deeper
Skin touching skin
Hear my thoughts
Cascade over
Into memory
Lost within this
Making a dream
Into a sing a long
Just know
I’ve loved you
All along

Pardon me for
Any misdirection
I’ve been gone
For so long
This is not my home
Strum a nightmare
Twist my words
To paint the infinite
Of the incomplete

Portrait of a savior
Etched in the sky
Looks like so much
Empty space
There is nothing
Left to believe
Hold my hand
And watch
A star be born
And an old
World die
Turn to ash
And drift away

Hold your breath
Take me by the hand
Feel them shaking
Watch a young man
Grow old in a day
Just stand by my side
Death is so incomplete
And you’re so alive
I will live
If only vicariously
Walk a dying soul
Into the sea
I will find
Whatever is left of me

Broken wings
These thoughts
Don’t become me
Lost another halo
Bathed in the afterglow
Free will
Look where our choices
Have led us now

A shadow of
A memory
Blood stains
Forever haunt me
All things are make believe
To be blessed and cursed
No choices made
Shaking hands
Furrowed brows
Cost us everything
Everytime

Lying saints and
Hopeless martyrs
Bring a smile
Walking upon
The shore of
Lake Humanity
Their ashes make the sand
Have no doubt
There is nothing
In which I believe

Childhood dreams
Forgotten in the mist
Screaming in my cage
Six feet down is
No way to say goodbye
Let it end
Let me be
I have but one life
And it is done

One word in
Feel it tumble down
Lost to you
No self control
I see your smile
And the mountains sing
I keep my head high
You’ll never know
You’re in my dreams

Wait for a moment
Flash a smile
Waiting for a sign
Something stirs
Deep in your eyes
So close but
Too far away
Once you’re broken
You will never be the same

My words get caught
Washed and flooded
Drifting away
Till all that’s left
Is empty thoughts
And broken hearts
As the sky
Falls to the ground
I stand alone
This was always
Meant to be
My eulogy

I will let you see
Just for a moment
Then I close again
I will not be reborn
Until the end
I open at the close
And start all over again

Load up your mind
Full of fairy tales
No pleasant dreams
Burning in Hell
What is left to say
When a man
Bears his soul
Line by line
Cut and dissected
I didn’t breed the disease
But I resent the cure

Brush the hair
From my weary eyes
Try and fail
To fake a smile
Clutching an
Empty page
To my chest
Bathed in an
Amber light
Reflected from
My demon’s best friend
Fall till I’m
On my knees
What was I
Supposed to be?

Amazed at all
I fail to see
Blinded by emotions
Darker than hate
Loathing…everything
Twisting and turning
In on my self
Screaming at
The dancing reflections
Echoes raining down
Like tears on the Wailing Wall
Can you hear the sound
Of a man so out of place
A soul ripped apart
By things he will
Never know
An angel with broken wings
The soul of a Saint
And the Devil’s grin
Singing my songs
Over and over again

I find it strange
It all seems
So unfamiliar
Was it all a waste?
Have you forgotten
Everything we are
So many years
Life is never
Bad as it seems

I have been a fighter
Leaving nothing but
Bloody knuckles
And broken homes
I’m done
Am I clear?
Must I scream
Fuck that
Fuck you
Before you learn
To stay away
It was nothing but
A waste

When I see you
You turn your head
And I understand
You can’t face
The choice you made
And I will
Dance alone
Till someone takes
Me by the hand
And I will start again
I hope the choices you made
Were more than a waste

Here I am
Once again
Not quite the same
Constantly in motion
A chameleon on a prism
Forever changing
Sitting down
And giving in
To the flow of words

Unplanned
I surprise even myself
I sing these songs
Back to me
Some meanings
Shake me to the bone

Here I am again
Writing without
A plan or direction
Just chaos on the move
It consumes me
Lyrics flood me
Leaving me breathless

One step from forever
Two steps from nothing
And one faded memory
From an angel
With blazing wings
Burnt from ivory
To a charred
Form of misery
My wings burn me still